Name: Stompy.Lives: upstairs.
About: I have seen Stompy several times when coming home from Albertson's. I squeeze through the gate, my arms laden with groceries, and she sits casually on the stoop, a teeny little thing with a cigarette, a glass of red and a cell phone. Polite nods and smiles are exchanged. I then leave her to her business, and try not to listen in as she pours her heart out loudly about the latest guy scenario that did not work out. After her call, it seems she tries to mend her broken heart by going upstairs and perfecting her high-heeled runway walk over and over, playing wii-fit, and doing what could only be described as the Window Jig, a dance she puts on as close to the windows as possible, making our windows rattle like a 3.2 is always rolling through the neighborhood.
Name: Princess Hollywood
Lives: Across the way.
About: I am like constantly listening to her, like, talk on the phone, oh my god! She's like this actor person, and she's always complaining about auditions (or lack thereof). Her patio is decorated like college, complete with strung lights and dead plants; the sign of a person who wants to have a cute happening pad but doesn't know enough or care enough to actually water the vegetation. She can be seen sitting out in her pink nightgown, ringlets bobbing as she gabs away during all hours of the day, and like any true actress her voice carries well and you cannot block her out. She does bad vocal warmups in the afternoons, and her flat, forced voice pushes relentlesly through them until landing on the last note, inducing a false lounge-singer vibrato so bright and fast you could use the sonic waves to crush and loosen your kidney stones.
Name: Never-homeLives: Somewhere out there, not too close but certainly not far enough away.
About: She must have a happening life, because on weekends she's never home. But her alarm clock goes off all day, reminding us all that she is definitely out and cannot turn it off, so sorry.
Name: Know-it-all Teacher Lady
Lives: Um...close by
About: Constantly losing the volume of her voice (one assumes by accident) when she speaks about teaching and her students, this one has been overheard referring to kids as everything from "really great" to "obnoxious little knuckleheads" depending on the day she's had at school. Everyone is privy to her opinions about how the educational system of LA should be improved, starting of course by mandating parental involvement and de-constructing LAUSD's overly bulky beurocracy. While everything she says is true, wonderful and from the heart, she could probably be quieter. The phrase "I can't, I have to plan for school" is constantly floating through the air. I think she's from Michigan too, because she's always talking about it, and her phone conversations end half the time with "I'll let you go, I know it's late over there".
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